'I can only identify the inner by my knowledge of the outer'---Iris M.the saddest smile, also the most enigmatic. for me, for you? the saddest smile, that remains inward.so, there it is, there y
ou go.i remeber it wellyou didn't turn around to say:i need you, i don't need you.i remember you well...you held the world up for meeven though it wasn't real!a clown in the moonor the moon in the clownstill, always my clown.the ritual of departures,that some call life.the tyranny of not knowing youagainst the easy familairity of the hours.how did it come to pass:which is to say: how does time pass?what is real, what most so?the innermost: the universal: Truth, Freedom..?or orange pyjamas? too late on the scene, a witness to ashes and grey embers, like the memory of a stone, a door that wasn't opened for you, a dream within a dream. is that not a kind of reality?why is saying 'regards' a way of saying goodbye? that's no way...v. re·gard·ed, re·gard·ing, re·gards
v.tr.
1. To look at attentively; observe closely.
2. To look upon or consider in a particular way: I regard him as a fool.
3. To hold in esteem or respect
4. To relate or refer to; concern
5. To take into account; consider.
6. Obsolete To take care of.
v.intr.
1. To look or gaze.
2. To give heed; pay attention.
n.
1. A look or gaze.
2. Careful thought or attention; heed:
3.
a. Respect, affection, or esteem
b. regards Good wishes expressing such sentiment.
4. A particular point or aspect; respect.
5. Basis for action; motive.
6. Obsolete Appearance or aspect. [Middle English regarden, from Old French regarder : re-, re- + guarder, to guard (of Germanic origin; see guard).]
taking leave. what is taken?
"what M is trying to do is to see D not just accurately but to see her justly, lovingly"
---Iris. M.
[the names have been changed to protect D]
change the names, change your mind. repentance. how will you give a label to these thoughts? a reassessing, a redifining, re-vision. nothing is given. capstones shift. how will you escape the world? by a leap of the will? into the blue. a different world, or the old one where i meet you five minutes earlier, where you wear a hat for me, over your straight/curly hair, to make yourself known.
'love is knowledge of the individual'.
this-ness. not: that-ness.
'we grow by looking' looking out for one another, and in for one another.
'the idea of a patient loving regard, directed upon a person, a thing, a situation, presents the will not as unimpeded movement but as something very much more like 'obedience'.'
like being in a white room, where everything is made clear. or even there, will you turn your face from mine and say:
'we are not always the individual in pursuit of the individual'?