fine form

To find one's deepest instincts; to stick by them.
---D. H. L.

Something odd to our modern ideas about the notion of narrative, a sustained picture of ourselves over time. It's as if the edges of the mirror are clouding inwards, so that the face itself is invaded by doubt, mystery. How to look at yourself clearly? No wonder the world seems so opaque!

Of course, the years of fakeness accumulate around you, can be seen in your eyes, heard in your speech. Words and voice always the first things to look for when you're looking for betrayal-assuming you can still recognize it. The tell-tale signs.

How to find the form that is an expression of your innermost desires, aspirations? Mostly, life is a compromise, a slow erasure of vision. Family, society, work, or religion will beat it out of you.Your old Jewish roots warn you though:don't expect too much: to be human is to be anachronistic, to be a stranger to the world. And yet for all that, this can veer wildly into a sort of cheap gnosticism, a tardy kind of self-centredness. No man is an island, and we all need "bridges", Forms, stepping stones, places of refuge.

Time passes. Only the young and the old understand. F.R. has this line: five seconds! If we had five seconds of love, truth, and understanding, what would the rest of the day be like?! The moment you wake up...how to keep that moment of awareness with you during the day? That pure gift? First thoughts? You're sure there's an old Islamic text one should recite on waking. Etiquette. Probably sounds too formulaic, mechanical to us now. Still.

What use are the words, without the life? Religion isn't a matter of words or concepts.