positive spin

It's everywhere, this Cult of Positivity, at least in America, the birthplace of Mary Baker Eddy, Norman Vincent Peale, and est, where 30,000 beaming "life coaches" ply their trade and a pessimist is no more likely to be elected president than an atheist. George W. Bush provides a sterling role model. Asked on his most recent birthday about the potential nuclear threats of Iran and North Korea, as well as the U.S.-instigated civil war in Iraq, he replied, "I'm optimistic that all problems will be resolved."

Google offers more than a million entries on "positive thinking" covering almost any kind of challenge you might encounter. Dieting? Robert Ferguson, the "Master Weight-Loss Coach," tells us, "With a positive attitude you can do, have and be everything you want in life!" Bereaved? You can put the fun back in funeral by replacing it with a "celebration" of the deceased's life. Need money? Attract it to your wallet with positive mental affirmations, such as:

I love having money. . . . I am open to receive money. I give generously to myself and others. I am generous. I feel great about all the money I spend. Note: Be SPECIFIC about amounts of money [you require].

Cancer? See it positively, as a "growth opportunity," and hopefully not just for the tumor. A representative of the American Cancer Society rebuffed a researcher in the mid-Nineties by saying that the organization didn't "want to be associated with a book on death. We want to emphasize the positive aspects of cancer only." Laid off? Forget the economy and concentrate on reconfiguring your attitude, as explained in the 2004 bestseller We Got Fired! . . . And It's the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Us.

One measure of the cult's success is the growth of the "self-improvement" industry, most of which promotes techniques for upgrading your attitude and visualizing success through affirmations that open you to the abundance of the world -- like this one, for example, from a current financial self-help book:

Place your hand on your heart and say . . . "I admire rich people!" "I bless rich people!" "I love rich people!" "And I'm going to be one of those rich people too!"

In 2000, the self-improvement industry -- including books, CDs, seminars, and coaches -- took in $3.35 billion. In 2005, it grossed $5.62 billion, with the coaching market alone growing by almost 500 percent.

---from Barbara Ehrenreich.

If you've lived in cynical old england or are a Lahori then you'll find this type of feel-good, in your face swaggering pomposity either hugely irritating or hilarious. Old world pessimism, sin and fate, reticence, ambivalence, and tentativeness are not going to get you very far, not going to lead to "success" are they, you loser?

Be aggressive!Well, steady on N, old chap. Assert your what? I tried it, honest I did. Looked in the mirror and said to myself: I will allow the power of positive thinking to change my life. Be aggressive, b. Be. Well, yes, I know, quite sad about that student who I hit on the head with a glass bottle. Khair, I think he'll be okay. Think positive +++

Yesterday some of these 'leadership' bozos were here. A day before some of the students (or should I say customers now?) had wanted me to speak about 'business solutions to social problems'.

Fuck off!

Sorry, fuck off! :-)

And so there they were, assembled under a tent like members of the Nazi youth movement, wailing away about how they all wanted to be leaders, gradually being whipped up into a frenzy of excitement by some monkey with an American twang, flapping their arms, stamping their feet, and hollering like wild beasts. Oh dear! I need to buy a book to help me help myself. Nearly as bad as Christian missionaries who harp on about how Jesus loves you (really? and how do you know that, bud?) Where are those 72 virgins when you need them?!

And now the Dean wants to "motivate me" to do some research! (please, it's easier if I just watch some Oprah). There he is, like a Cheshire cat, all fluffed up, grinning away, so pleased with his grand role in the universe. Makes me sick, I tell ya'.