take it home

"The treasure . . .lies buried. There is no need to seek it in a distant country . . .It is behind the stove, the center of the life and warmth that rule our existence, if only we knew how to unearth it. And yet – there is this strange and persistent fact, that it is only after . . .a journey in a distant region, in a new land, that . . . the inner voice . . .can make itself understood by us."

---Denise Levertov, via Zimmer, via Buber, via...

There's this line in Becket where he criticizes the Welshman (or have I got it mixed up?).."you were only looking for an animal kind of warmth," he says. The warmth of friendship, well, that's another thing, in a different league. Even loyalty to religion can seem cold, distant and mechanical. 

The nihilist/fundamentalist/academic/scientist will often say that the warmth has drained from the world. All that is left to do is to articulate how the world falls in each specific detail with utter detachment and objectivity(your old village mullah is far superior in the sense that at least he dreams up interesting stories of the decadence of women!)

But despite everything it goes on and you don't believe all that tosh for a moment. The fact that in Lahore at least ten thousand women put on lipstick each morning and/or diligently get their kids ready for school says-to me at least-that the old ways will survive. 

~~~

It is strange to think of it now but we actually saved up to buy music. There was no "instant access" or "one click buys" and, given our lack of money and our wise parents' reluctance to indulge us- we ended up with very small collections (the only other alternative was taping stuff off (or off-er, as the yanks would say)the radio. 

The dougal had this album which in its astounding brilliance was the cheez when it came to coolness. Who else could sing: "There was the Queen, looking tired,just back from a holiday..."? And then there was wonderful tape-sadly misplaced despite your best attempts to keep it safe- of Elkie Brooks'-she of the husky voice fame-selection. Janis Joplin, Peabo Bryson's Feel the Fire (yeah, Peabo!), Sam & Dave's Don't knock it. 

That tape, despite its awful quality,and despite only being only thirty minutes long, had all the warmth of our childhood in it. It is often said that music opens up new doors, extends one's understanding, enlarges sympathies, broadens our outlook, touches some mathematical truth or gives us a glimpse of some greater, finer or grander sense of meaning, harmony, "oneness", even. Without music no tribe, no civilisation. But for us, music was never about a return or about picking up the loose threads; it was and is always about this breathtakingly simple emotion: take it home.

~~~

Still haven't got much money and youtube is down and out in the land of the pure, but the music... "