Goodbye Lenin

100 pages in to Lesley Chamberlain's 'Philosophy Steamer'. Not half as good as the excellent 'Motherland'. But still...

What was the appeal of Communism? For the life of me, I don't get it! Of course, the notion of the 'common good', notions that were floating about in the 'silver age' and already present amongst the populists before the commies appropriated it. But you believe too much in the individual-Jesus, that makes me sound like Ayn Rand!-to be really attracted to the common anything. No, not the individual, or any other useless abstraction,just my own and the people I know.

What is fascinating, though, is this battle between the individual, the rational, on one side, and the collective notion of the good life, and the mystifications of Tradition on the other. The 'progressive' part of Communism had to destroy the old order, old ways of thinking. And of course, it only led to a new type of fanaticism. To believe in reason only is, as Berlin rightly said, an extravagance. But, but, that sort of cold, detached view does appeal to you in some way. You haven't got an ounce of mystical or religious sensibility in you at all.

'Inwardness' as a form of resistance to the materialism of capitalism and communism alike. But, on the other hand, the need to get away from 'inwardness'. Keynes: Good states of mind depend on things working. The charms (and dangers) of utilitarianism, of piecemeal social change/reform.

In the end of the day, you're too lazy to be attracted to any ideology. Even religion seems like such an effort. Austerity and worldliness require too much concentration, absorption.

The Dougal once told me about a Quaker 'gathering' she went to. People just sat on their chairs and kept quiet.Reminds you a bit of that line from 'wise blood': The church of Jesus Christ without Jesus Christ. A bit like five easy pieces, if you know what I mean. I wonder if you can bring your own sarnies, or a flask of tea?Don't even have to talk to anyone either. Now, that's my kind of religion! Though you always imagine the chairs to be too austere and uncomfortable. Some sort of Bauhaus or Ikea crap.Far better the plush ones at Border's or, even better, the British Library.