Affirmative action

In the deserts of the heart
Let the healing fountain start,
In the prison of his days
Teach the free man how to praise

---Auden.

There are moments when you find the ability to slow things down in life, when the moment ceases to be a "moment", and you are distanced from it; it flows, calmly.

Of course, for most of the time your Jewishness dominates. I found a corner of the world that had my name on it; but now the wind blows through my house, as if it were the end of days.

I walked off the plane, without any baggage, straight through immigration at Heathrow. There wasn't a single person there, no lines, no people, nothing. Just a sleepy-headed official. Breezed through the corridors, sat on the train so lost in a reverie that the two hour journey flashed by; at Woodford everything was as you left it; down the hill, time running off your back..the Church, the old brick school, each passing by you as if in a dream. The Cross, brilliant white, like fine porcelain. You walk, unhurried, your steps light with a rare sense of direction. Around the corner, your heart in your mouth, your timing perfect; the great tree bronzing itself in the open sky, the first few chestnuts flung to the ground, like a try-out; the creaky black gate. Each sensation registering separately, and yet all were linked.

The swami, gingerly opening the door, with no idea of my return. The mid-morning ordinariness of the world exploding into reality. You walked into a dream, more real than the world.

"Would you like some tea?"

"I wouldn't say no"