Disappearing Worlds

Was that only the world we imagined?

I see it, I see it now, fleetingly.

Do I only imagine a lost country, language, a sense of first place? 

~

What mode of being is your silence, if you can tell? 

Sappho:

[..

]

This heap of fragments that you call your own, like the loose change you keep in those deep inner pockets, not to be spent or distributed, but whose occasional jingling sound throughout the day is a strange form of reassurance, like the time you keep on your inner wrist.

~~

On late Sunday evenings you would sit with your back to the high windows, the darkness falling, the ancient bats in the sky, and the old country stretching out beyond, forever. D lost in some book, the swami in some reverie of the past. Organize the indecipherable prescriptions into heaps according to name: Jones, D. Jones, Evans..what then seemed like a mundane ritual of finding and keeping order, taking stock, now seems both essential and more difficult.

Carved in flowery curling letters on a cheap wooden letter holder, the words: It's later than you think. Next to it the old projector and the film reel which, when the machine is cranked up, produces a series of shaking, flickering images of a family trip to Doddington. And an old camera, unused for fifty years, found behind the wood and mirrors. Old, slow playing LPs with distant, high-pitched voices and accents that make you smile: Yes, we have no bananas. Back from 1923, when people were trying to forget and find some other kind of light, a different hour.

Forms of communication are discarded, the well-known image fades from view, the silver inherits the black, brown speckles invade my old black & white picture and form under my skin, the tomes of obsolete words grows by the hour, the dust settles, inches its way further and I can't, for the life of me, remember a word, the one that cannot be translated, and that is found in no-one's heart.  

~

I am a bit moon and traveling salesman
I have the specialty of finding the hours
which have lost their clock.
--Vicente Huidobro