WHORE: hore [hoere, Dutch]. A prostitute. A woman who receives men for money. Dryden. A woman who converses unlawfully with men; a fornicatress; a strumpet.
"The happiest conversation is that of which nothing is distinctly remembered but a general effect of pleasing impression."
Interestingly, the modern urban dictionary concurs.
So, what makes for a good conversationalist, or a good conversation (in our sense of the term, not Johnson's above)? What makes for a bad one?
1. a good listener (does such a beast exist?)
2. must have wit, charm, but only when not called upon to exhibit these characteristics.i.e naturally witty...or must at least appear to be natural. But not too witty.
3. flexibility:
a) ability to converse with both sexes
b) doesn't make silly sexual innuendos (some of you may think a) is an example of)
c)shouldn't be patronizing (some of you think b) is a good example of)
d)shouldn't be too self-conscious (some of you think a), b) and c) are.
Flexibility: not dogmatic (fundamentalists and ideologues of all stripes make poor, very poor conversation. Inveterate bores.
Flexibility: to not always talk about the same thing..like 'flexibility'. Fielding: "He can talk of Fashions and Diversions among the Ladies..can likewise talk on a Fan, or a Horse-Race."
4. Sober. Not too sober.
5. 'Anals'. Always talking about themselves, their work, or what's wrong with their body. Intellectuals and academics tend to be anals and are to be avoided at dinner parties where they usually discuss their own petty politics.
Too much to say is nearly as bad as having nothing to say.
7. Raillery. Nothing like it! Love it. But not too much and not the kind of vicious 'taking' that is part of Punjabi culture. Not too rude, not too polite.
8. Not always light. Not always dark. You know the type I'm talking about: existential angst, wears lots of black, very profound, has to fit in some Zizek or Derrida in every line of the conversation..doesn't "do" trivial. Chit-chat and small talk is for the bourgeoisie. We're talking about VERY SERIOUS things here indeed.
But too light as well. The airheads and buffoons. Always smiling..."those men and women whose face is ever in a smile, talk ever with a smile, condole with a smile, etc." (Swift)
Get this, the other day I was told (not for the first time I might add): come over K, always need some light entertainment. WtF ! Swift: : "Your Business is only to laugh in Season..while this merry Companion is acting his part."
9. Name-droppers and people who feel compelled to sneak in foreign words into their conversation.
10. People who always agree with you and those who suffer from "the Itch of Dispute and Contradiction."
And I'd dearly like my friends, both
Young and old up there to gather
All of us in German babbling
Paradisal words together
---Goethe
5 comments:
so people keep asking you to come just when they are in need of light entertainment? hmmm :-P
yeah, it's weird isn't it?! and from the most unexpected quarters...still, i find it hard to resist and am happy to fill the hole in people's lives.
hard to believe, I know, i know...what with the black sun begin so profound, sober, and serious.
bloggers don't make good conversationalists, don't you think? or have you had a different experience blogging?
I know you get a lot of praise on your blog (well, at least the times i've visited it). Do you find that promotes conversation, Roxana, or do you feel a bit uneasy about it? I think I've got an idea of how you take it but wouldn't want to speculate
oh, i don't think bloggers are not good conversationalists, and you've always had such nice and intimate conversations here in your comments. and i am lucky to have very fine people commenting on mine, i find their words very interesting and sometimes their interpretations of my pictures are very enriching. they seem to be truly touched by my pictures, i don't think they make this up, why would they? :-)
(perhaps i am naive).
i only find it tiresome to answer every time in detail, when the comments are too many :-( it takes so much from my time.
but yes, this cannot compare to a real life conversation...
That's very interesting..I wonder if the type of people attracted to a particular blog says something about the blogger?
I notice on yours, for instance, that many of the commenters are artistic types and i think ur right: the pictures and words do seem to elicit quite an emotional response. Yes, I think they are really touched.
Take care,
b.
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