Advice to (from) an old man

Do not speak of yourself (for God's sake) even when asked
Do not dwell on other times as different from the time
Whose air we breathe; or recall books with broken spines
Whose titles died with the old dreams

---Kay Boyle.

Do not speak of God, for Christ's sake.
Of death of which you do not know. Why should the beautiful dwell in anything but life?

'chance determinations'

"And long before our intelligence can help us, the new-born individual survives this tremendous question by his naive faith in the love of his elders."

[Oh, N, please don't try and spoil it by talking about evolution again!]

"Tell me the landscape in which you live, and I will tell you who you are"

[Er..I live in a 6 X 8 room with a window overlooking the library]

"they [two young political prisoners] educated me in courage and resourcefulness and when our starvation-level rations were cut in half for me, the Jew, they shared their rations equally with me. They were socialists and lived by that ethic."

"Social definitions can turn privileged citizens into outcasts."

"Captured women were raped and stayed with their children. The invention of slavery as a means of recruiting a labour force taught men how to organize difference-tribal adherence, of race, of religion-into dominance."

On ageing:

"If we fail to make good choices in one stage there is always the next stage in which we can do better. but in old age there is only one next stage and that is death."

Ageing forces us to give up activities, skills, and enjoyments we have long practiced. We have to learn to give up more and more of what we have accomplished, what we have gathered in and what we cherish. Getting old means giving up something forever at every stage of the process...

We cannot make up for lost time. We must accept what is and prepare to let go of it..giving up what we have gathered in and what we cherish means simplifying our lives and letting go of clutter. It means choosing what is truly essential to our well-being and holding on to that...

We must develop whatever we still can develop and learn new ways of seeing, perceiving, and functioning. Learning to continue living with diminished means has its own rewards...we are still part of the great life cycle...one makes peace with one's life and one's way of living; and one learns to treasure the gifts of each day...

In old age people become what they have always been, only more so..There is no single solution-ageing is a dance on uneven ground, undertaken with weakened limbs..soothed by learning to fully experience the present. We have come this far and what there is now is all there ever will be.

Much more than at any stage of life, the old person has to be flexible.

Old people are society's best link with the past, and their knowledge and experience are desperately needed in a mechanized society that is more alienated from nature and natural processes...

In our competitive society people are trained to be self-made and independent. But they also have to learn how to help others and how to accept help without feeling demeaned and diminished.

Old age is the ripening of the fruit, the preparation for the harshness of winter, when the roots grow and strengthen..it is the closing of the circle; the fulfillment of the contract of generations. It needs to be treated with respect and honour."