khalwa...

That's it,
that's joy, it's always
a recognition, the known
appearing fully itself, and
more itself that one knew.
---Denise.

and knowing isn't everything. this you always knew.

someone asked me: with regards to the things that you are instinctively drawn to: do you always make them your own? but surely such a thing is neither possible, nor desirable? for the desirable comes to us (or it doesn't)...all one can do is be open to it, not will it or possess it. a question to myself.

but, also, to 'make something one's own' requires an incredible amount of creativity, inward concentration, human generosity, or 'expansiveness'. does it also mean one ceases to be oneself? and even then, the beautiful is never owned and never fully comprehended. mysteries are only deepened; there are always veils and there is a thirst that is never quenched (he says, putting his jewish hat on).

the following was shared with me by flowerville. you can read the full chapter online.

slow learning:

We have to learn to give up more and more of what we have accomplished, what we have gathered in and what we cherish. Getting old means giving up something forever at every stage of the process. The trick is to learn how to give up things gracefully and without despair...

We must accept what is and prepare to let go of it...

As long as we are alive, we have the capacity to develop compensatory skills and seek new insights...

Living consciously...one strives to make new relationships in order to stay rooted in life...

Much more than at any previous stage of life, the old person has to be flexible...

Old age is the ripening of the fruit, the preparation for the harshness of winter, when the roots grow and strengthen, a time when leaf mold decays, making a seedbed for the new growth of mushrooms. It is the closing of the circle...'

---Gerda Lerner.

but, also, the opening of another circle...